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I came to a conclusion that not regretting doesn't mean that you're not sorry. It doesn't mean that you do not have a good conscience on the inside, that there's no morality or principles or that you've not learnt the lesson. Most important of all, it doesn't mean that you've not moved at all from where you were. It took me years to think about this because i was feeling so horrible beyond the description of my vocabulary. It became such an issue because i thought that i've not admitted that i did wrong.
Then i realised that when you don't regret, it proves something more. You've cherished the joy, accepted the pain and acquired the experience. You've accepted reality. The reality that it's time to move on because there is no way you can change a thing of what had happened. Let the bygones be bygones. It is not supposed to hinder what is coming but instead be used as a platform or as a tool to take on what's next. Like i said, it's not that i'm not sorry. I truly am, for hurting so many people around me. We all made wrong choices and decisions in life and we have to be ready to face the consequences no matter what the outcome is and i've encountered mine.
I am more than convinced now that if i were to relive my life, i would take on the same path and walk through the same journey. Some might think that why do you have to go through all those pain and hurt again, but they have forgotten that there has to be a reason why those things made you smile. Even if it's for the wrong reason, that's how you know that it's wrong. Whatever that makes me vulnerable in the past, will make me stronger in the future.
You don't have to agree with me because i'm not seeking for your approval. One day, i might not even agree with myself when i read back all these posts but it doesn't matter. I just want to know that at this age and season of my life, that's what i believe in be it right or wrong.
Signed and sealed.